Ella Marilla, "For I Have Come to Jiffy Lube"

I had no clue... —Larry of Weatherford, TX

For my Nova to get well,

For my Chevy gets me going

Where I’m going.

For the candy,

For the creamers,

For the Free Coffee. Maybe,

For many a thing claims FREE-ness,

while hiding its cost in your coolant,

Your Pennzoil. I’m bored,

For this People Magazine

Is an old People Magazine,

For these aren’t the stars they once were,

For if they change my oil, my car’s my car,

And if they change my blood, I think I’m me,

But if they swap my brain out cell by cell?

Will I still be the beauty I once was?

And where do they get the spare parts?

Britney’s hair on the bathroom floor,

Inexplicably faded.

For 24.99

They will not actually do anything

To your car at Jiffy Lube,

For the thing you need is

Always different, special

And always costs at least 64.99.

Just ask Raj of Las Cruces:

They tricked me very nicely.

They’re tricking me too Raj,

very nicely, and the scam

is not parochial. It’s Signature.

On Snelling Ave., Saint Paul, MN.

On Peachtree Industrial BLVD.,

Chamblee. America

Is full of faulty filters.

Synthetic? What the fuck


Forgive us guys,


Our attitude.

Forgive us you other guys,


Our footprint,

For we are no celebrity,

We’ve got to get to work, to work

For a living, that’s $

For our meat option,

(And we’d have gone elsewhere if not

For this, the earliest possible opening),

For smooth running engines,

That we may not be interrupted,

nor the baby, nor the big girl,

on our beats.